Leviathan's Door: Part 2 - The Office

There he was. ln front of that gleaming corporate edifice known as the Yutani tower. It was one of the best-known landmarks in the city. lts sleek, modern and daring architecture made it one one of the most visited buildings in the business district. notwithstanding all this architectural glory, there was still a lot to be said for the Yutani corporation itself. like many mega-businesses, it had a clean public image. Well, almost. Because if one were to dig deeper, veil after veil of suspicious and shadowy dealings could be found. lt was common knowledge that Yutani corp owned a diverse array of companies, from medicine, manufacturing, chemicals, oil exploration, robotics, software development, up to its newest corporate acquisitions in the fields of biotechnology and nanotechnology. However, this was just what the public knew. Yutani was supposedly involved with the military where they cut clandestine deals in space exploration and weapons development. However, this was all unsubstantiated and based on rumors from supposedly 'reliable' sources. But there was no doubt about one thing, Yutani was now one of the biggest business empires the world had ever known.

He always wondered why he never tried to apply for a job at a Yutani company even during the time he was fresh out of college. His grades were good enough to get him noticed by most tech-related companies looking for new blood. Even then, he always preferred working for start-ups and the lesser-known but promising ones. Maybe he still couldn't shake off his tendency to be anti-establishment. He always had a conficting view of big business. He knew this was where big projects were. Most of the significant innovations also came from this part of the woods. But on the other hand, he didn't want to be part of some giant monolithic organization. He always knew that he would just become another cog in the machine. Moreover, he was a natural introvert. He didn't have that so-called 'gift of gab' that seemed to be more important than his technical skill when it came to getting noticed by the bosses and being promoted. Thats probably why women got promoted faster he thought. Even having the right qualifications sometimes wasn't enough. Having a pretty face and nice figure didn't hurt either especially if the boss was a man. He sighed at the sad realization. Trudging on slowly, he finally admitted to hlmself that talking the talk was always his waterloo. It was at times such as these that he wished he had his wife's talent as a people person. She could meet someone for the first time and strike up a friendly conversation in a snap. Before long you'd think she and the person she was talking to were lifelong friends. That, he thought was a talent he could really use to get to where he wanted. But that was easier said than done. Sure, he could go in front of a client and explain the inner workings of a complex computer system in layman's terms. He knew he had a knack for that kind of thing. But initiating pleasant conversation was not his cup of tea. The farthest he usually got was asking 'how was your day?'. He was always uncomfortable asking other people personal questions even for the sake of casual conversation. His wife always said being a conversationalist wasn't one of his strengths, but he was surely a darn good listener, and she would give him an encouraging smile. His wife always knew how to cheer him up when he was feeling down.

At last, he found himself standing in front of the imposing entrance of the Yutani corporation. To him, it was a portal to another world. One he coveted yet despised at the same time. He always wondered what if he tried his luck there? would he be better off? Would he find what he was looking for there? Another part of him would scold him for even thinking such a horrible thought. I would be akin to selling his soul to the devil the voice in his head would say with righteous indignation. There was no doubt in his mind now that sooner or later, he would have to make a decision. He simply couldn't go on like this. The warring voices in hishead were driving him mad.

He looked away at the towering structure and set his eyes towards his real destination: Norstraad Petrolium International. Unlike the Yutani Corporation, Norstraad was not in any way exceptional. It was best described as a 'tall white building near Yutani Towers'. He was hired there as a consultant in their Retail IT operations group. The wanted improve organizational performance through upgrading their IT infrastructure and applications portfolio they said so they got him onboard. The pay was good considering the sagging economy. But then again, the world was still addicted to oil. It was still the lifeblood of industry. Solar and wind power was still not considered viable alternatives. At least, not in the eyes of OPEC. Nuclear power was out of the question. The recent nuclear powerplant .meltdown in China took care of that. Even the great wall of China couldn't hide that disaster he chuckled. Besides, environmental groups have evolved into a significant political power bloc the last decade. Even the government wouldn't consider pushing nuclear power as an alternative fuel source unless the incumbents wanted to commit political suicide.

His thoughts drifted back to his office as he neared the main gate of his office. He felt for his company ID in his shirt pocket. He took it out and wore it around his neck as he approached the revolving doors. He gave a slight customary nod to the security guards he passed by. He never really remembered their faces all these months. They gave the usual polite greeting as they saw the distinctive yellow stripe on his ID which indicated he was a consultant. At least it afforded him slightly more respect than the ordinary employees there. The thought reinforced his preconceived notion of how it was so undesirable to be a lowly employee of a mega corporation like Yutani. He would just become another drone in the hive, dutifully waiting his turn to serve the queen and then be unceremoniously discarded when he finished serving his purpose.

He opened his laptop bag for inspection as was the usual procedure for everyone coming into the building. He instinctively felt for his wallet after going through the metal detector irrationalIy fearing he might have mispIaced it. He never really thought about it though until now. It somehow felt natural to always check if he had his wallet on him especially contained pictures of his family which was more important to him than the money or credit cards. 'Too sentimental for my own good' he chided himself. His love for his family always kept him going no matter how bad things got. His wife was always there for him despite all his faults and shortcomings. Sure, they had arguments like all couples but they always managed to talk it over in the end. He was the ice to her fire. Thats why any marital spat never lasted for long. He always knew fighting fire with fire was futile. Besides, he considered himself much more fortunate than most men for having such a wife. They were practically opposites but they complemented each other perfectly. Soul mates if such a thing really existed he thought. Thinking of his family always lifted his spirits. With that, he took a deep breath and did his best to look confident while walking towards his final destination.

As he continued to plod along the hallway, looking at the other employees rushing off to their respective destinations. 'Ah, my fellow ants', he mused. 'Back to work in the tar pits!' he said softly, trying not to sound too pessimistic. He finally arrived at the end of the hallway and swiped his security card to unlock the door. The door opened with a subtle click. He heaved a sigh as he pushed it open with his right hand. The cool air coming out of the room momentarily gave him a bit of relief from his journey. Looking quickly around the room, he scanned his surroundings for anything unusual. 'Nope.' he said to himself. 'It's still the same old boring office...'. He gently put his bag on top of his desk and started taking out his laptop and setting it up as he always did. His desk was clean of any folders or ornamental items which was so unlike the cubicles around him. He didn't want to get too comfortable here anyway since this place was only temporary for him. Getting too acquainted with the people here wasn't in his agenda. He was here to work. The word work almost brought a smile to his lips. "What kind of work am I really doing here?", he fired up his laptop and got his coffee mug. He went out to the pantry at the end of the room to get some coffee and fire up his nerves. He took his time, preparing coffee was sort of a morning ritual for him while he waited for his laptop to finish loading all the applications it had to load. "Crapware", he told himself... Taking a whiff of his freshly made coffee, he tried to rouse his spirits while slowly walking back towards his cubicle. Staring at his laptop, it was still busy loading the endless patches and bugfixes and updated software from the server. "This is going to be another loooonnnngggg day." he said while slowly sitting down and taking a quick sip of his coffee...

Leviathan's Door: Part 1 - A New Day

Drudgery...

That was the word ringing inside his head that monday morning on his way to work. it was not exactly a feeling of utter helplessness and depression, but it was close enough to warrant a sullen blankness on his face that day. He was on his way to the office that day when that word ringed inside his head inexplicably. The office, it was not some place he was particularly fond of. In truth, he actually dreaded the prospect of going there to slave away the day doing things he thought were simply a waste of his time. He should have been assigned to something else more important. He should have been working with bleeding edge technology, or being involved in a project whose technological impact affected millions of people. But he was stuck somewhere else. A place where he sat all day in front of a phone and a locked-down laptop. He would probably spend a large part of his day staring at endless blatherings in his e-mail inbox about petty concerns in the office. He would likely be incessantly annoyed again by the constant blinking of the tiny red light on his telephone. The non-stop blinking proved to be quite a distraction for him when he had work to do. The phone unit was obviously broken but support staff simply ingnored his request for a new phone saying that the complaint was not considered high on their list. "Hah!" He let out a frustrated breath. He was a consultant. A seemingly important title that in reality, carried little to no weight. A sugar-coated farce of a role if there ever was one. He was just another hired hand. A nobody. And nobody really cared. He was trapped and he didn't know how to escape.

While walking through the familiar narrow sidestreets of his neighborhood, his thoughts drifted from one unsavory memory to another as he tried to remember something positive about his job. His current work wasn't doing his morale any good obviously. He desperately tried to shake off the billowing cloud of dispair that was starting to take shape in his mind again. "No! Not today." he tried to convince himself. "Im starting a new day.", and as if someone was intently listening to his very thoughts, an answer immediately followed: "Brave words you moron!", said the small mocking voice at the back of his mind. And almost at the same instant, he nearly tripped while walking and this only made him more frustrated. The world seemed to be against him. He winced at the turmoil that was seething within. He could almost feel it like it had a life of its own. That shadowy form with innumerable writhing, slimly tendrils, slithering morbidly along the dark corners of his mind, waiting to pounce and drag him down the murky depths of utter despair. That despicable thing kept laughing at his anguish, greedily devouring each failure he endured in life and gleefully spitting it right back in his face when his spirit was at its weakest. Surely, what he was feeling was the handiwork of the devil himself. He tried to look at the brightness that lit his way while he silently strode to where he would take his ride. The sun felt pleasantly warm on his face. It gave him a renewed feeling of serenity. "There is hope everywhere." he repeatedly said to himself, and silently moved on.

It wasn't long before he finally arrived at the train station, the smoke-riddled journey certainly didn't help improve his outlook one bit. But he just sighed and started walking up the stairs to the elevated train station. He always counted the number of steps he took everytime he walked this path to amuse himself and forget how tiring it was. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw there wasn't a long line of people at the booth. As he waited for the train to arrive, he looked out along the railing down to the street below the station. He was almost 5 floors up from the street. The world always looked different from here. Everything seemed more distant, more in their proper perspective. Looking out, he could see things for what they really were. People down below were small. Almost like scurrying ants going about their business. The rusted roofs showed their true age while most of the facades had a fresh coat of paint. This just forstalled the inevitable he thought. All the bright colors would bear the mark of soot coming from the passing vehicles all too soon. The cracks would be visible again. Then they'd have to patch it up again and again... The thought came to him again all of the sudden. "Its really all for nothing. People are finite, fickle little things. Like a moth drawn to a flame then suddenly snuffed out in an instant. After all, everything comes to an end right? Why even fight or struggle at all? Anyway, life is just a cruel joke where everyone is the laughing stock". He instictivly slammed his right fist at the metal guard rail to keep himself from thinking anymore nonsense. He stared at his bruised knuckles. He felt relieved that the pain stopped him from thinking of more negative thoughts. It was good that there weren't many people at the station at the time. He didn't want to unnecessarily alarm anyone. "God. Please keep me sane.", he said to himself silently.

As he rode the train to work, he couldn't help but think of his family. If they knew how he really felt inside, would they think of him as a selfish man? a self-centered bastard? he tried to shrug off the idea. He couldn't bear the thought of his family thinking of him in such a horrible way. He just closed his eyes and tried to remember something else. His mind drifted to earlier that morning... In his mind's eye, he recalled how he opened up his eyes, feeling as if half of him was still in a dream and the other half just starting to wake up. Finally, he could almost see the ceiling through the haze after rubbing his eyes a bit. Though he felt the usual ache of his lower back and ribs, he did not feel too weary as he normally did the previous months. whether it was the effect of the drugs his doctor prescribed the day before, or the way he kept trying to convince himself he would turn over a new leaf, he did not know. But somehow, he was actually feeling good enough that morning to not dread going to the office. He shook off the sleep still lingering in his head and looked around the room. He saw his wife sleeping soundly beside him. He smiled to himself remembering how she woke him up around 3am and silently made love to him while their children slept. He could still feel the slight throb of his manhood while he stared at his still-sleeping wife. He caressed her smooth arm and smiled to himself naughtily. He loved this woman with all his heart. Leaving her side was something he wished he didn't have to do on a daily basis. Overcoming his reluctance, he took a deep breath before finally managing to pull himself out of bed. Tiptoing carefully over the matresses where his children soundly slept, he silently crept out of the bedroom and went down the stairs. The air in house was still. He shook off his drowsiness and willed himself to go to the bathroom to prepare himself for the day ahead. Taking a cold shower always did the trick. For some unfathomable reason, he felt good that particular morning and he didnt want to lose the feeling. He was going to the office today and nothing was going to ruin his day he mused to himself.

At least, that was what he thought...